8.04.2008

I Wanted To Believe... Chapter One


The X-Files: I Want to Believe.... holy smokes, where do i start?

I want to believe this film never saw the light of day.
I want to believe I didn't waste two hours of my life and ten bucks out of my pocket.
I want to believe that there is still intelligent life left in Hollywood... somewhere.

This film tops the list of one of the most god awful, inane, pointless moving pictures i have ever seen.

Holy hell, i would take Meet The Spartans over this mess. I'm not asking for action or little green men to run around but i am asking for something, anything that resembles an X-File.

You don't sit on a cult series for almost ten years to resurrect it for one last hurrah that slugs across the screen in a whimper. Holy... holy. I honestly don't believe it. Wasn't there one person who looked at the wreckage and said "Maybe we should go back to the drawing board."

Reading critics reviews and forums of what people thought about this film reveals that there is some positive takes on it. Did we honestly see the same film? It's not even good in that you lowered your expectations way. It's not even a guilty good, a shameful good. This is like getting a hot iron poked up your ass. This film hurts. It has the power to depress. I can't even talk about it right now because i'm so fucking depressed. By far... worst movie of 2008 easily.

Stick to renting the show.

I wanted to believe...

(to be concluded)

3 comments:

the coelacanth said...

not even fun for a diehard fan eh? i haven't seen the show in awhile, and i was thinking of plowing through the whole series this fall - i've heard both the movies are, well....not great. i think you're right to say stick to the show.

me - i'll take kolchak any day...

La Sporgenza said...

Jeez...I kinda liked the first movie and was looking forward to a return of the Mulder/Scully thing. Guess I'll take a pass based on your very extensive 2-part thumbs down review.

Dropkick said...

i enjoyed the other film as well. This one not so much, but i could just be an asshole. I'm sure there's something to be taken out of this film that's worthwhile i just couldn't make out even a hint of it.