3.12.2008

Southland Tales - a confused Kristerview


I... uh. I don't even know about this one. I'm not sure what i saw...uh right. Southland Tales hits shelves this coming Tuesday so i thought i'd pick it up so you won't have to.

Southland Tales is apparently about the end of the world. It's a film upset about the Patriot Act, the Bush administration, and American society as a whole. It's a film that thinks it's gotta express these things by being incoherent and that has a cast that is... ironic to say the least.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson plays an action movie star who has come down with a bout of amnesia and is now sleeping with a porn star (Sarah Michelle Gellar) even though he's engaged to a republican senators daughter (Mandy Moore). The Rock has written a script about the end of the world that is starting to overlap reality and to research this role he rides shotgun with a cop to get a better idea of the character he is to play. The cop (Sean William Scott) is actually setting up the Rock to help the Neo-Marxists (Amy Poelhler, Cheri Oteri). Yeah anyways, this is all being watched over by a dude with a bad ass scar reading the Revelations and narrating from a big giant gun he mans on top of an arcade on Venice beach played by none other than Justin Timberlake. yeah, i know. The cast is insane and includes Jon Lovitz as some tough as nails cop, Kevin Smith as... father time? Will Sasso as a gangster And Christopher Lambert as a guy who sells weapons out of an ice cream truck. yeah.. The thing is all these actors are playing roles they would never normally even be considered for and they all do a pretty good job at taking everything seriously. In fact, no one is funny... at all. That alone makes me think this film is smarter than it looks.

So yeah, there's big brotherish stuff and there's these scientists who have made alternative fuel from the motion of the ocean but they're evil... or not. There's not really any plot per say. The film plays like Idiocracy had a three-way with Blade Runner and MTV and they all live on the beach now with they're hippie bleach blond dumb child. Most of the film seems unnecessary with the way the film turns near the end and you're just kind of left with this mess of a film that is either the most brain dead thing you've ever seen or one hell of a jab at the "system" which evidently would include you, the viewer.


I want to call this film crap. I really want to but there's something that sticks with you after this... thing. Many of the scenes have a haunting quality to them, only that's all they are. Scenes stitched together that don't seem to make any sense of the confusing plot.
Don't know if i'm against this one, or for it. Really confused over here, but if you do pick this one up i think it'll make more sense if you watch it thinking that the Rock is Jesus, Sean William Scott is God, Will Sasso is Judas, the Republicans are the Romans, the Scientists are the Jews, and Buffy is Mary. Yeah, and i guess Justin Timberlake is.... Death?

Anyways, very weird stuff. The film should be studied and it should be determined if this is just pretentious incoherent garbage or scathing social commentary. Pick it up if you wanna get frustrated, confused and wanna pick your brain a bit. I for one love movies like that so i'm leaning to more positive feelings with this picture. But, it's completely impossible to recommend this one to anyone. Heed my words and choose for yourself.



this scene makes just as much sense in the movie, and it's the best scene in the whole film. Nay best scene this decade thus far

-I say good day! Kris

7 comments:

velovampire said...

weeeeeird - i brought this home tonight too, and was going to watch it, but now i'm not so sure. but of course i will! i'll try anything twice....

Dropkick said...

did you see it brah?

velovampire said...

not yet, not yet. in the next day or two, for sure.

velovampire said...

in my top ten of the past decade for sure. american astronaut's still no. 1.

La Sporgenza said...

Hmmm… hard to get a bead on this was supposed to be. A sort of post-post modern video game movie accident starring the Rock (channeling William Shatner) with a supporting cast the sketch comedy players from SNL and MAD TV. An undeniably ambitious sophomoric effort from Donnie Darko director Richard Kelly who has filled his second film with meandering metaphors and deep thoughts. This is the film you might expect from someone who has accrued every bit of his or her knowledge from the Internet and has yet to read a book. All in all, watching Southland Tales felt a little like being trapped for 2 and ½ hours in a very small box with a schizophrenic 4-year-old Tourette's sufferer who just dropped some bad acid and wants to tell you a story. Timber Justinlake narrates, ….as if that isn’t warning enough. It could also be brilliant.

the coelacanth said...

good - i lied to be cool when i said i had watched it. now i don't feel so bad...

the coelacanth said...

ok, so better late than never, but i finally watched this last night, and my thoughts are much in line with you guys. i'm on the fence as to whether it's a pretentious muddle or a brilliantly structured po-mo commentary on the state of things. i think it's a bit of both, although, unlike you guys, i'm leaning to the the brilliant side. still not entirely sure what the hell was going on half the time, but i can appreciate this film for what it was, and more often than not, it seemed very similar (in feel, at least, not so much in look) to a lynch flick. S.T. ultimately falls short, but i think there's enough played-straight weirdness here to satisfy any fan of sure to be future cult cinema. overarchingly ambitious, to be sure, and now i'm actually kind of looking forward to the box. the rock, highlander and inconceivable (wonder how many shots of listerine he did after that kiss with bai ling?) were awesome...