The Good, The Happening and The Street Kings

I've watched some dreadful films this last week. I bought a cheapo Blu-Ray player and had only one Blu-Ray DVD at home in the order box. As it happens it was the Keanu Reeves stinker Street Kings. Trust me when I tell you that a worse film has yet to be made. I lasted about 20 minutes and then shut it off. Unfocused, unpleasant & unwatchable dreck. Keanu Reeves is perhaps the worst A-list actor working today. His acting style is on par with the 1972-era animatronic theme ride at Disneyland with those stupid moonshine-drinking bears. A piece of unmitigated crap. So is the movie.

I also watched The Happening, an M. Night Shamalamadingdong eco-horror about plants emitting some toxin that makes people kill themselves. In a related story, I recently battled an uncontrollable urge to kill myself while watching the film, The Happening. Coincidence?, possibly. It had moments, but I was again struck by just how awful the acting is these days. Something named Zooey Dechanel starred with Mark (I-should-only-play-supporting-roles) Wahlberg and John Leguizamo and, while they can hardly be blamed for the Grade 4 dialogue M. barfed up, I've seen better summer stock acting from car mechanics and gay high school drama teachers. Avoid at all costs... although this is a masterpiece compared to Street Kings. This Zooey person looks like a Muppet, but with less acting range. For most of the film it looked like she'd just taken a frying pan off the forehead. I honestly wondered if she'd caught some weird form of late-stage Down syndrome. Again though, she's Judy Dench compared to Jamboree Reeves in Street Kings.

These unfortunate films were offset by watching F.F. Coppola's 12th restore/recut of The Godfather Parts 1 & 2. Holy fuckollies these are great movies. I'd forgotten just how good. One of my complaints up until now was the dark interior cinematography in both films. The Blu-Ray copy finally let me see the film fairly close to its original form (I was too young to see it theatrically). What a difference! It opened both films up whole new interpretations and levels of nuance. These films are stunning achievements.

So a little of both this week.


the coelacanth said...

- I wanna blu-ray player too!
- got the subtle intentional (i hope?)comma over-usage in the post and laughed.
- zooey has for some time been my secret hollywood crush. jim henson creation or not, i'm still in love...
- i hope to never have to watch street kings. take the fucking fatal pill, neo, and die already.
- thanks to this post, we are now just one shy of september being the driest month on here (in terms of post volume). we need one more to tie august and two more to surpass it. i feel a fluff post about paul newman coming on for the tie...
- kris?

Anonymous said...

whatver you think after reading the following you will think of him in a kinder light.
the other server made it a mission impossible for himself.
afternoon tea with mr bruce lee.

he once served up tea to bruce lee rather well, mother said.

bruce lee was polite but i’m not so sure he agreed. by the time he made the tea, as he had to fight off the other child who was literally hiding in the kitchen cupboards to attack at any time, who could not believe that the god not a THE, was in the loungeroom & all he wanted was tea. there was no time to even make-up a lie for even being in the kitchen cupboards, clearly both boys went freakin' mad. bruce lee next room tea.

both male children as the kettle boiled instead of praising bruce lee in the lounge room decided to hit each other silently in the kitchen, no-way was either of them leaving that kettle unguarded.

then they both tried to hold the tea & cup & saucer jointly. the 2 boy men then dropped the cup. then as they are men & there was 2 of them, they decided to re-do the whole scene again. by the time it was served up, because after the 2nd cup, saucer & splattered tea, covered the kitchen again, brilliance stepped in by form of a mug. so they could thump each other through both doorways. to the loungeroom.

what the boys with no brain cells at all, didn't realise was he mr bruce lee of course heard every thump. & the cry from the boy when he entered the kitchen to find the other boy leaping from the kitchen cupboards 'get the police', he shrieked then just plain smashed him, mr bruce kindly ignored.

they like me, he smiled i was just hopeful. when the 2nd cup hit the floor. i held up my fingers for international sign for peace. mr bruce lee thought i meant 'i will get 2 cups of tea.'

the actual tea was cold, i dread to think of the calibre of tea (it was an american & canadian both thinking they could actually make tea not mud.) & as one server collapsed opposite mr bruce lee, thoughts vibrating around the room, i f@cked up tea with mr bruce lee. yes you really really did, the imploding echoed. the other server concentrated on mr bruce lee god only after being ordered to.

to this day i do not know how this happened but it did. as the server collapsed he somehow took a dive to the side of the double seat. yes ass firmly on seat but somehow flailing body emergance, if only some sort of possession could explain it all away no this was instantaneous self ass to supersonic embarassement of emotion too huge for each individual to fathom or witness all needing, having to look away all knowing any eye-meet could only be instant combustion for all. who knew he had such dancing arms?

to get to such an extreme position of self-bounce for all he did was try to bounce his top half away from the un-magnetted floor, all of us fought time & won. why?

why did we need to fight time we needed it to fathom an understanding on how how did his top half of his body get through the side of the seat, stuffing, material & planks of wood? the flailing fish dance flop was just not needed or wanted by all or any molecule in that room.

yet flip flop flam, http://www.tomcruise.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_content=Search&utm_campaign=USCA-TomCruise&gclid=CIvqo8nr-pUCFQ89awod3We1Fg it was then i chose future refugee status change of sex my name now seemingly sam.

we all died a little inside this was not human being this was not fair on any of us. the 2nd server had been overly bullied by the flail summoned courage from his forefathers & decided fairly wasn't the guest really for him?

revenge should have been thick with contempt yet he the 2nd server looked within, (he had to by this time we were all room blind) & leant forward to help the flail, he was the only one in the room that did. 'save yourself' was the only cry i remember from that scene & that was from mother. fortunately he heard & begun the very serious orchestral coronation of tea serving.

(this is so brutal, no king & i gowns, jewels, procession, music nor background, no jeweled vessel either just the last mug not cup as he had partnered in smashing those. oh yes & just to squeeze in further realisation mr cha cha cha had taken time out to meet his dad, take us all out of the equation this was still going back to his dad. who he hadn't seen in awhile. it was his dad that awed him about the other facet of the gentle man. i loved his dad to me his dad was mr bruce lee so it came to no surprise to me duh of course they knew each other, monkey see monkey doo. his father had met david susuki too BUT it's crass to mention ELVIS 'COS IT'S NOT MY STORY. blatently obvious to me back then to me as it is now there was something in the levi's for sure. they all wore their genes very well.)

he actually stepped backwards arms waving widly behind in search of a seat to collapse. i believe by this time all seats were non-negotiable. so he was left collapsed on the floor.

for me personally hello, my couch, my house, http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=Qcp4Y5v2eGU&feature=related princess of everything like every little girl i didn't quite understand why 2nd server hadn't reacted like that over me. ever. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ezr_4LtC_w clearly the floor was his. mr bruce lee then noticed an error of seating & shared yes there seemed to be an exercise of some sorts. (yes 2nd server really did serve tea then swap karate with bruce lee, within minutes of fighting off attacker in cupboard get thumped & be thumped at least a million times plus re-decorate the kitchen & hallway with a very warming light brown, the designer in me demanded coffee over-throws to even out tones, so i was placated for the present.) while i digested consumed the following.

as mr bruce lee looked down & down into the contents of his mug he still managed a pleasing "those 2 mouthfulls were" …NO mr bruce lee, please you do not have to finish that sentence. mother told him he'd find the rest of it in the hallway & kitchen when he said goodbye, not that anybody wanted him to leave.

i entertained our guest. as both boy men were shattered, ’cos of course it is exhausting to make one cup o tea. BETWEEN 2. so i think we can agree with mother he served up the tea rather well. i actually didn’t know who he was. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=So4WFFiFiDc&feature=related now i do. up yours world mr bruce lee was in my house on my couch & i didn't serve him tea. i have omitted other rollercoaster highlights due to trauma of un-remote viewing.

yet i have thunked self physchoergononomics, diagnoise roomitus. you have to leave the room at anytime if i'm not entertained.

do any ass infront of me make sure it's a smarty 'cos i'll turn you hoarse just by a nag.

mr bruce lee's visit was the beginning or end of it all. our lives cemented. i am unable to comment further until my shrink & her shrinks return from their extended holiday.

the physchoergononomics of it all.

you are exhausted aren't you? well just once think of the children. 30 yrs on we were there, if survival is victory only i was really victorious but it was because i was silent, i barely moved. as all i could see around like littered soldiers, explosive body behaviour from all. i swear mothers medusa ringlets vanished she looked positively human, soft tone, no shrieks, she was in her best fabric, not stoopid i knew he was a suffink.

he was so still no fuss i don't remember his clothes, clearly he was at ease with fabric because i don't remember any pain so then it was my turn for affects.

i had to create a diversion of some sort of cloning of his behaviour look at me, please look at me, i beg of you, no not look forward to flail, please let second server get over his allergies towards the carpet (spitting towards guests is just rude, throwing extra spit as our guest clearly still seems a little parched, he's talking water, be at one with water, i understood, he needs water to dilute the mud that was served. spitting at the man in place of self suffocation just didn't seem correct.

i think i helped him in his breathing problems, i really do. i know i went beyond.

it would be self flattery to think my quick selfless act was of chief of all medical practises everywhere but i do indulge that it was a deputy of choice.

& with just one look that ordered instantly carpet spit or die & don't even think you can let mr bruce lee know your body has any other function than tea serving. to the closing, if you are stupid enough to choose self-suffocation you better be posing alive for our guest...& then the raising of the eyebrow...you part created this, yet he seems to be cruisin' us all. flip just flopped out of the corner of all our eyes, this play must continue there is no time for intervals.

carpet breathe in & be at one like the rest of us.) while i grind his face in it further.

(he gave me no option over the flawless meetings with dame elizabeth taylor. i am blameless in my tiny weeny faultless reaction to his actions at the supposed to be a splendid afternoon tea for our asian@american parched guest.)

i liked him, he sat very well. he seemed relaxed & kind. he loved his wife. he was a family man. he wasn't just normal he was super normal. when he invited us into his home i mentally clutched panda i left big ted for second server as we did share history before this revealing little afternoon tea exploded & i shoved those 2 unexplainables out of the teepee flap & embraced my new family within 8ft & from afar.

he didn't need to know us all together. we could have gone separately, we could have dragged it out for years. visitation rights had emerged by then, i could have just skipped to the local park on a cold windy sunday & shove poor lonely only child in the sand & grab it's monthly visitaton rights.

all i would have to do is waive it around widly & individually, to prove to our guest i was able to work alone.

one thing was very apparant with our guest he was monkey see monkey doo.

his correct behaviour was as funny as sweet as kind to a child & to one who had been attacked in her own home this man hadn't reacted at the servers infact he had smiled & laughed. he had corrected me & 2nd server with warmth & had rightly ignored fish flop. evening out the bully balance which sorely needed exposing. he was an age-ingualist he chatted with all the ages in the room including us all, some of the time. the man was a medal owner of cha, cha, cha, in china with the ger-million people/ panda's, i'm telling you panda was impressed into stunnedness. at anytime he could break into song & dance definitely not a warrior a fighter this was a gentle man.

to this day it shames & stupifies me that anybody could think anything else. i knew why the unexplainables & mother were a tad overly excited. he was going to brandish his cha cha cha medals at anytime & hadn't he actually agreed on some kind of re-meeting? the man was a positive party.

as i looked around the room no longer my room but cha's i went to offer him my couch but knew i would have to take one foot off 2nd servers head, which was a possible option, he seemed to be gasping for something, his selfish breathing was beginning to offend. yet i knew any disturbance could avert cha cha cha eyes back to me, a chance that was not viable. why? please. fish flop.

don't you understand flopping was directly opposite i & 2nd server was to cha cha cha's left mother to right flip in the middle opposite still flopping. a whole oceanic 8 ft away. the whole time throught out. even if he did manage to flip up & to the side & reverse his torso back through the two planks of wood & stuffing & linen material, this was not sliding nylon this was heavy if not a little suctioned linen in the days where it broke the camels back linen. orange too, the colour alone warned, may lean on, not go through. you just couldn't miss it but he could & did.

even if he could reverse his own ass actions anything past the chair rest 8ft away mr bruce lee eye-meet.

actual mr bruce lee & you're a boy who could only dream that one day he could maybe audition to be an extra on his set. this was his audition & all you can do is fish flop as you are ignored by everybody that loves you.

you'd think that boy would have just flat out died due to dis-belief that his head kept re-visiting the floor but no all he could do was think very loudly. it was so painfully noisy. i cannot share a tortured brain pattern but the word rainbows was simpered at flapping intervals.

are not gonna help you now.

cashing in on anothers rainbows was the least of his problems. he had to get off the floor.

walking talking we can cover later but at least let the man think you can sit upright. i had a feeling he liked all that.

that boy that is now a man has reported issues, please please leave him be, just leave him be.

i didn't know scarlet o'hara or the scene of her wading through the battered soldiers with just exhaustation to nurse even existed but i realised then it was mine. i was yet to meet cheney & foolish others where things had gone dis-array for them, a discomfort for me of course but this this feeling was unique.

& he hadn't even begun the cha cha cha.

drip drip melodied the tea stained hallway drop drop the kitchen a cappella'd lulling me into realisation. sobbing to myself i knew the sandwiches were never coming. AFTERNOON TEA PEOPLE WAKE UP TO IMPORTANCE OF LIFE. & with JUST a little wittle insy winsy maybe THIS HAD NOT GONE AS ALL HAD HOPED.

i was a human yo-yo. off the couch to offer the couch within seconds back on the couch for stability. when 2nd servers head hit that carpet i took it for balance. & so did he. he knew crisis he did what any broken can do.

we could have just chatted individually in different rooms, why bring in liquid ever why? he really did invite us into his home & i believed everything he said but flip flop flam, name now sam & 2nd server thinks carpet is ham.

another time for dame elizabeth taylor her presence does demand attention to detail.)
even now on reflection i still have the belief of hope for myself & for us all to reflect in the sparkle of hope.

one can only hope. can one be hope? maybe or is it better to shine at arms length from another's MY hope or does one shine due to hope? i have never lived in a hopeless society as there is no such place.

as hope has always be mine. i feel my attitude of enviromentalist protectionist of our earths gems stems from then, maybe maybe not?

never ever in my life has hope been so blatently mine.

you too will agree for later on we need time to rest i will try & take you back to the two other meetings.

yes not one but two. feeling a bit sweaty are we? over anxious, calm down 'cos you'll need all the back-up you can give yourself 'cos envy is slammin' in.

the after visit & pre-visit were of the opposite. the pre-visit seemed eventless yet it was as powerful & funny & humouress (he re-wrote karate, i had no idea what that was i thought that meant he wrote well & could translate, he was an ex uni student so i thought maybe teacher maybe bit of masterful teachings of disco. didn't dare hope or dream he was real but i understood he had medals in cha, cha, cha. in china, ger-millions in china, he was the best dancer of ger-millions & panda's there were a ger-million panda's back then of course they needed to dance. he sat very well, his dress superb, somebody loved him, he said he had family, the way he spoke about his wife was just plain true, sweet. clearly the man was a cat. a full grown black leopard humourous to perfection to ease his awed audience cat. always.

i liked him alot. i'm actually their child & i accept his wife doesn't remember my birth. for factual proof i will get some sort of genetics off-spring levi's & claim his mental rights.) it was inspiring as it was flattening as the rescuing yes rescuing perfect ceiling reaching right angle moving attic beam kick.

YES. yes. YES. http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=iPQ5IVykMIY&feature=related

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ezr_4LtC_w back to the dish. i know who needs it now?


can be contacted via physchoergononomics