Cold Prey (2006)

It's no longer just the way my Asian friend pronounces her favourite British pop band du jour...

Norway has long been known for its fjords and an influential black metal scene, but horror films...not so much. Along comes Cold Prey, or if you're Scandinavically inclined, Fritt vilt, to prove all the naysayers wrong. The only problem is, it doesn't prove much of anything, except that perhaps the Norwegians should stick to what they do best, and that is burn churches.

Cold Prey has airs of a modern slasher (read: attractive, nubile 20-somethings, sexual tension, remote, vaguely spooky location), but fails to deliver in the blood 'n' boobs category that the genre so desperately needs in order to be successful. Yes, there is character development (for the first hour), to which defenders of the film will likely cling, and there is sumptuous cinematography. But other than that...nada. A boring exercise which sadly cannot build any meaningful suspense or even provide the smallest of jump-scares, and a killer who you've basically figured out by the end of the first scene. Hell, I even liked My Bloody Valentine 3D (even sans the third dimension) far better than this. Skip, unless you take pleasure in looking at snow-encrusted mountains and abandoned ski-lodges in the midst of a blizzard; but I figure that by this point in the year, everyone would rather watch Under the Tuscan Sun. (I just noticed Diane Lane shares my birthday - hot!).