FBW counter question #1 (Saturday, 12:02) - “Do you have Hud & Le Mans? I'd like to see a couple of Paul Newman films” I hesitate about whether to mention that Le Mans stars Steve McQueen, not Paul Newman, but don't. I wonder if they'll notice.
FBW counter question #2 (Saturday, 12:07) - “Do you have Butch Cassidy?” I ask whether Robert Redford died or something.
FBW counter observation (Saturday, 12:07) – I see a woman come down the steps and drop a DVD – sans case - into the drop box. I go over and get it out of the box, marry it up with its empty DVD case, return it and notice on the account that the customer “often complains about scratched disks”. Shoot me.
FBW counter question #5 (Saturday, 12:20) - “Do you have any Paul Newman Films? They take The Long Hot Summer and The Verdict.
FBW counter question #8 (Saturday, 12:34) - “Do you have Hot Cat on a Tin Roof?” ...a trick question I think... “Yes” is the right answer but do I want to give the movie to someone who obviously doesn't know this William Faulkner classic?
FBW Counter interaction (Saturday 1:05) – “So, Old Blue Eyes kicked it, eh?” Frank Sinatra's dead!?!, I ask.
FBW counter question #22 (Saturday, 1:22) - “Do you have Butch Cassidy?” I ask whether Katherine Ross died or something.
FBW counter question #22 (Saturday, 1:22) - “Do you have Hombre or The Left Handed Gun?”
FBW phone call (Saturday, 1:35) - “Do you have The Towering Inferno or Slapshot?” I imagine Newman's still-warm body twitching in the morgue. You bet, Hombre.
FBW counter thought (Saturday, 2:00pm) – Why hasn't anyone asked for The Hustler yet?
FBW counter question #27 (Saturday, 2:06) - “Do you have The Hustler?”
FBW counter comment (Saturday 2:15) – Did you hear that Paul Newman passed away? No really?
FBW counter comment (Saturday 3:00) – Did you hear that Paul Newman died? No, really?
FBW Tally of Paul Newman movies rented since noon - HUD, HOMBRE, THE HUSTLER, SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME, THE LEFT-HANDED GUN, CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF, BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, THE STING, SLAP SHOT, ABSENCE OF MALICE, FORT APACHE: THE BRONX, THE VERDICT & THE COLOR OF MONEY.
FBW counter question #489 (Saturday Night 6:45) – Do you have any Paul Newman movies? Sorry, they're all rented I'm afraid. Really? Why's that? He died you know. I have no idea. Weird huh?
FBW counter questions #490 thru #807 (Saturday Night 6:46 to close) – Mostly variations on “Do you have any Paul Newman movies?” I try and upsell Heath Ledger flicks all night but have no takers.
FBW counter question #507 (Saturday, 7:35) - “Do you have Butch Cassidy?” I ask whether Burt Bacharach died or something and get blank stares.
FBW counter question #713 (Saturday, 9:22) - “Do you have any Butch Cassidy?” I advise that we're all outta Butch but have lots of Sundance Kid movies left. They don't get it. I mention that I heard Burt Bacharach died. So did Paul Newman! they respond.
(Saturday Night 10:25pm) – Home, doors locked, safe and sound. I watch the Steve McQueen film Bullitt to honour the dead.
It rocks.
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2 comments:
hahaha possibly the best post yet. similar variations (though on a smaller scale) out east yesterday...
here's a good one: there was a customer in the store, on imdb on his blackberry and calling across the shop pretty much every paul newman title and asking if we had it/was it in. if we didn't have it, he would call his wife and ask her to call blockbuster to see if it was in there. at the same time, a customer called, asking if we had the sting. i said "maybe", and asked blackberry if he would be selecting the sting as one of his choices, because if not, another customer would like to have it set aside. "ummmm....yes" - says he, pupils dilating and fingers suddenly tightening around the sting dvd box - "i think i'll take the sting and road to perdition." fair enough, phone customer let down gently. 15 minutes later, after blackberry gets through the rest of the newman canon, he walks to the counter and asks if i had any newman recommendations. "yes", i replied, "sweet bird of youth is a marvelous film. so is the cincinnati kid." "ok", says he, "i'll leave the sting and road to perdition and get those two instead." no joke. he's probably squinting and triple checking through the credits of cincy kid right now, looking for the paul newman cameo that he MUST have missed...
I just laughed out loud.
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