Can I have a really small cone and a smaller movie?

Like clockwork they arrive at the Film Buff at 7:05pm on Friday night with their children in tow for $2 ice cream cones and to re-rent Burn Before Reading, the worst Coen Brothers movie ever. They fell asleep last time they rented it but “love George Clooney and Brad Pitt” It's 7:05 and they've already eaten....supper! In 2 ½ hours they'll be fast asleep at the 46 minute mark of Burn Before Reading, 3 minutes further than their last kick at it.

We are a regular stop in their weekly schedule. They shuffle in, pick the latest mainstream Hollywood flick that the Globe and Mail rated 2 ½ stars, and wander out hoping it wasn't the one they picked last week. Zack and Miri... have we seen that?

Do you have any suggestions? Something light, not black and white, not too arty, not foreign (I don't want to read) and funny..... and not violent...or too quirky... maybe something with George Clooney and Brad Pitt?

How about Burn After Reading?

Seen it.

All of it?

Well, no... Oh, what about that fabulous new vampire movie?

Let the Right One In?.... ya.. it is fabulous.

No... the other one... Twilight.

All rented. Sorry. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to rent Twilight on Roncesvalles, I say, chuckling.

Blank stares.

Another day at the Film Buff.


the coelacanth said...

i told someone today that twilight is only available during a short window between 7:39 pm and 8:31 pm, but that time moves forward by about a minute each day. i don't think they got it.

the coelacanth said...

oh and c'mon....nothing was worse than ladykillers...even intolerable cruelty.

La Sporgenza said...

Good point on Ladykillers... that was perhaps the worst. The humans.... gasp!

the coelacanth said...

roncesvalles "village" needs a visit from the punisher.

La Sporgenza said...

A follow up.... Last night's Earth Hour garnered but a single comment from one of the local fembots. While wandering around licking an ice cream cone (!) and looking at DVD boxes (!!), she asked Nikki (who wisely shuffled her off to Donna) whether we were going to acknowledge Earth Hour. The cafe lights were off. The outside sign was off. The music was off. Donna indicated that we switched off what we could, but that we weren't closing, if that's what she meant.

The hypocrisy! Don't they understand how fucking oblivious they come off? Standing there munching on an ice cream, in a lit store, after dark, during Earth Hour. What goes through their wee pee brains?

A dozen people asked if the cafe was closed or something (because the lights were off) but only this one blowhard bombardier de cerise had the dimwitted gall to pose such an obviously stupid question. These bland and banal oblivitrons are bent on imposing their own faulty ideology by way of passive-aggressive criticism on the rest of us and it's gotta stop. We have to draw a line in the sand and call these phony dolts out and explain that it's people like them that make the world insufferable.

In a nutshell......

we need the Punisher.

Dropkick said...

jules and i were working by just barley the light of the computer screens.
everyone thought we were closed.
it was great

La Sporgenza said...

Actually Kris, everyone thought you were gay.

....including Jules.

La Sporgenza said...

(not a word about you two frolicking around in barley fields though...)

Joe? you may wish to comment on my new-found restraint?