Saw V (2008)

Fuck NO!

SECTors #3!!! Worst of 2008 by Dropkick standards (low)

Se ct or TREEEZ

Gather round' as Dropkick KADARSKI goes over the worst movies of 2008, only the top 5 of them... there was a bunch of crap.
turdturdturd


5. Mirrors
not a complete failure. This at least has the so bad it's good quality and for the first half there is some scary shit going on. Too bad a device like your reflection wasn't used to its full potential. And i'm still debating if the last 10 minutes when Jack Bauer has a gun fight with a demon nun is the best thing that has ever happened or the worst... poor nun.



4. Wanted
The only redeeming qualities of this film are as follows in chronological order: Morgan Freeman dropping the F bomb, action sequence where gun is stuck in head but is continued to be used for remainder of said scene, Angelina's wetback. This movie is for guys who go home after work and play video games and dream of a life so unlike their own. The Matrix without a brain.



3. Journey To The Center of the Earth IN 3d!!!!!!!!
OH MY GAAAADDDD IT'S A SHITTY MOVIE! BUT IN 3D!!! now it's almost like you can taste the shit!


2. X Files: I Want To Believe
fan of the show? Prepare to be dissapointed. Not a fan? Prepare to be bored. There is nothing here that resembles anything worth to be put onto film. One of the only films i go out of my way to not recommend. I can't believe such trite can pass test audiences unscathed. Someone musta liked it, but i don't know the person. Tell them to come by the store. i will slap them.



1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Watching Indiana back in the saddle was the visual equivalent of achieving the brown sound. My stomach was turning within the first minutes and by the time the giant fire ants came out i was up to my third pair of clean undies. This is the worst kind of bad movie, because this was asked for. So many of us wanted this and so many of us thought as long as Ford was back and had his hat and whip there's no way it could be bad. Alas, Hollywood showed us it's still full of magic, even in today's troubling times, and completely surprised us with this overlong; over expensive; over exaggerated time waster. Just a shame, 8 year old kris is still healing from this one.

Coming soon
Best Music heard at FBE in 2008 while Kris was managing (hey macarena!)
Crazy Chinese Burritos and why i love them! (yum)

Dropkick loves Men on Wires

NINE ELEVEN

There, i said it.
Man on wire is an absolute gem of a documentary about Philippe Petit's illegal high wire routine he performed between the The World Trade Center Towers in the 70's. I was skeptical of this one, i knew going in of this routine, and i knew there was no video footage of his actual wire dancing which is a let down because he was up there for 45 minutes. Someone coulda got something for the archives. Still, the doc presents the actual walk during the climax in photographs but so rich are the words and testimonies of everyone who was there that you won't be able to tell the difference. Philippe Petit's beautiful moment of conquering the towers is so richly painted as an act of beauty, magic, defiance, resilience, and hope that you can't help but feel moved by the stills.
What makes this film so great is that it never mentions the towers not being there anymore. Wether or not this film would be made without what happened on 9/11 or not is up for debate but by not mentioning it, by letting the towers represent this one man's dream as they really did for him and then seeing him achieve that dream is such an inspiring message.
I remember Roger Ebert said soon after 9/11 while reviewing Zoolander and pointing out that the twin towers were digitally removed from every shot, "we shouldn't hide the twin towers. Let them stand tall in all their glory for all of us to see and admire."
The fact that the towers are not around in present day had no impact on the film, they talk as if they were still standing today and by the end of it while you're brushing your teeth before heading to bed, it hits you. The towers aren't actually there anymore, you drop toothpaste on your shirt, but for the duration of Man on Wire you couldn't tell. It's as if they were always there, standing tall as just a building, an obstacle or the encompassing idea of dreams and hopes.
Gorgeous.

Lurkers

I'm calling you out. Why haven't the following people ever posted:

- buffOsaurus (c'mon man - I'm sure you can muster a few words about Secret of the Grain/Brick Lane? Just write what you told me...)
- J.P (just do a two sentence/300 BPM review of Go or Human Traffic. And there's always Bangkok Dangerous...)

DOOOOOOOOO ITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!

Bangkok Dangerous

I wanted to love this movie, a hitman has to kill four targets in Bankok. This is the perfect plot of a Asian action movie, But the problem is that it's not an Asian film, it's a piece of crap remake of an awsome Thai film with the same name. Nicolas Cage is the worst hitman ever, the city of Bangkok could have been much better used in creating a atmosphere. The movie should not have been made it only taintes the awesomeness of the original movie, also this movie could of used a lot Jason Statham... I mean A lot... I'm going to watch Crank now, witch by the way there making a sequal too. Man I love him.

sEctOrs #2!

SECTOR DOSE!!!

wherin Dropkick creates a list based on the best films he spied upon for the duration of 2008 A.D.
Only thou films mentioned herein were created during times prior to that of 2008 A.D.
WOWZA let's kick it



5. Murder Party (2007 Dir. Jeremy Saulnier)
Not much more to say than the review i wrote up earlier this year for our hugely successful Hallowe'en campaign. It's a terrific film and if these guys can kick out some more gems they'll make the Apatow camp run to their mommies. Since no one listens to what i say and the Film Buff is still very much Murder Partyless feast your eyes on one of the better horror gags i've seen in a long time.





4.Mad Detective (2007 Dir. Johnny To)
JOhnny To's latest crime flick is also for my money his best. An old detective who is exceptional at capturing criminals due to a talent he has to actually see people's personalities sounds a bit far fetched but the device is handled with such care and thoughtfulness. It's used more as a point of reference for various characters' inner turmoils. All around terrific picture.



3.Band of Outsiders (1964 Dir. Jean-Luc Godard)
The Madison. My god, the madison scene in this flick is the essence of cool. My personal favourite of Jean Luc Godard's work, and yes that does mean i like this more than Breathless. I know what you're thinking "ces't impossible!" but it is true. Find me a film closer to poetry in motion than this picture and i'll do your homework for a week.



2.Blast of Silence (1961 Dir. Allen Baron)
You want noir? Oh this film will give you noir. So much noir you won't know what to do with all the extra booze, cigarettes, dames and bullets. What makes Blast of Silence stand out more than just any other film noir is how well the characters (mostly the protagonist) are written. The story is as tough as nails and our main character is too, only this film shows what is really underneath all the grit and harshness. We find out our hero, a hit man, is a flawed lonesome person. When he sits at the bar drinking and smoking it isn't what he really wants. He wants to not be alone but he's afraid of people, people seeing the real him. People not accepting him. A masterpiece of the genre without the themes of personal identity but with it this becomes something really special. Perfection.


1.Army of Shadows (1969 Dir. Jean-Pierre Melville)
This was the first year i watched any Jean-Pierre Melville films and he's quickly becoming one of my favourite directors of all time. Even though i've yet to see all the director has to offer i'm going to go out on a limb and call this his best work. Mainly because if i see a film better than this one anytime soon i think my head will explode.

Stay tuned!
still to come worst of 2008 and beyond, instore soundtrax, best burrito at Chino Locos. YESSS!

Missing Ball

Now deep in the heart of winter, holidays over, a little under two months until players start reporting to spring training camp in sunny Florida and Arizona, I'm itching for baseball to start up again. One of my favourite blogs, the hilarious, incisive and dead-accurate Drunk Jays Fans has started posting film reviews of cinematic baseball classics. They are a great read, often pants shittingly funny, and a hell of a lot better than anything I could say about them....the first few in the ongoing series are linked below:
Bang the Drum Slowly
Bull Durham
Major League
Battlefield Baseball
*new* Bad News Bears
I'll continue to link as they go up, so check this post every couple weeks until spring training begins...

So Long and Thanks for the Fish

After a decade of holiday seasons you would think that we'd have the ebbs and floes of retail down pat and have a pretty good idea how the humans operate right? Nope. Every year brings a new pattern and this year was no different. I take notes every year and they don't apply the next. Weird. A preliminary look at our December numbers would suggest that we're (at least temporarily) somewhat removed from the worst of the recent retailing nosedive experienced by most in late 2008. The FBW was off slightly (as compared to 2007 which to be fair was a perfect storm December – 5 weekends and a Wednesday Xmas day) The FBE will match last December's solid totals making it a growth month. Well done boys and girls.

We had two customer complaints in +/- 6000 transactions during the month of December. Hard to argue that (but seriously Dropkick – you can't call people crybaby's even if they are). Graham spent New Years with his girlfriend and 2 gay couples and was called a sexist pig on his first shift back. A connection? I wonder. Ought-nine's opening blog entries are Joe's fascinating “What I watched” list and the Kris(t) Child's favourite comic book movies from 2008. That some set of kohonies you're sporting there Dropkick – I sure don't have the nerve to put Speed Racer on my list.

I'm having a hell of a time figuring out how we're going to get all of our shifts covered in the FBW. Everybody keeps bailing on me. Damn you all and your “schoolin'”! They aren't any jobs out there anyways for love of Pete. Just give up now – it'll save you thousands of dollars too.

I'm gonna throw out an off-the-top-of-my-head '08 top ten DVD releases out too (I realize some are 2007 movies but I don't get out much). In no particular order.....

The Fall
Before the Devil....
Michael Clayton
Edge of Heaven
Assassination of Jesse James
No End in Sight
Deep Water
In the Shadow of the Moon
The Band's Visit
Gone Baby Gone

H.M. Speed Racer

Best to all in 2009.

Jenny G./K-Doll - get the hell back here as soon as you can.

SeCToRS #1

2009 is SECTORS

here's a few lists i've made up looking at different sectors of 2008
lists are fun to read but writing them is a whole different kind of sensation

TOP 5 Films seen in 2008 that were constructed in 2008:


5. Speed Racer
I really enjoyed this. People were so frustratingly angry about how bad this film was that when i finally got around to watching it, i was so surprised that it made me love it. Just plain fun, and like i've said before "AMAZE INDUCING". Great addition to the futuristic racing genre sector of film.


4. The Incredible Hulk
I dug this movie a lot, and think it got everything right in terms of comic book adaptation. It was heavy on the action, light on the drama, and creamy in the sector of comedy. It was a self aware film that wasn't trying to take itself seriously. I enjoyed this one more than Iron Man. Robert Downey JR. is terrific but you got him in this too. so whatever.


3.JCVD
Incredibly impressive. See this is the perfect example between what makes most of North American films shit, and most European films amazing. There is a film coming out later this year in North America called My Name Is Bruce starring everyones favorite B-actor Bruce Campbell. The story is about a small town that is fending off this ancient samurai demon but they need help so they send word to Bruce Campbell, the actor, using the logic that he has fought demons as Ash in the Evil Dead films. Early reviews say this film is absolute crap and the trailer makes me nauseous. Brucie plays himself as a loathsome clown and it looks like it's loaded with cliches. What a waste of an opportunity.
Now look what the French do, they take Jean-Claude and play with our ideas of him now. The ideas of him being a wash up and a hack actor. We follow him around making films in Hollywood that he despises but needs the money to support his daughter whom him and his ex wife are having a custody battle over. He decides to return to his hometown and start over, find some worth in his life. He continues his fight for his daughter in the courts and is asked by his lawyer to wire him money by noon one day or to have the case be closed... well basically.. what happens is incredible. i don't want to give anything away. Great stuff, look out for a 5 to 10 minute scene of JCVD talking to you the viewer, breaking the fourth wall and baring his soul. He cries and you find yourself breaking up too. Strange what a good actor he is, Time Cop never had none of that. Check it out.


2. The Dark Knight
This film was suppose to be another batman flick. It was suppose to be just another comic book movie. It was suppose to entertain you and throw alot of flash in your eyes but guess what happened. It decided to show up to prom stag, spiked your punch and take your date home. This is genre bending filmmaking. It's a thriller that is genuinely thrilling, every frame has your heart beating. You leave the film feeling a bit violated, a bit melancholy. You feel on edge, films like this should be praised. Even if it's killing itself with its own hyperbole. This isn't titanic, this is a film worthy of the hype. The surface of which we haven't even begun to scratch, i would start with the cinematography sector.


1. Synecdoche, New York
What can i say? One of the most beautiful films i've ever had the pleasure of seeing. I don't think i'd be able to articulate how beautiful i felt this film was, and what it meant to me. Charlie Kaufman, the writer and first time director said when asked about mixed reviews the film was getting "there are no good or bad reactions, it's whatever you take from the film. That is the right reaction". Do yourself a favour and see this one as soon as possible.

Honorable mentions to Martyrs (which i really enjoyed but until that film gets a proper release date i thought i'd save it for next year) and Who's Nailin' Pailin?

Stay tuned for more sectors! such as, worst of 2008, films i've seen in 2008 but were constructed at another time, and soundtracks:the best of the music played at the buff.. and the worst. yessss.

The Coelacanth Watched Movies

I did an interesting thing (that did not involve any reproductive organs) in 2008. I watched a bunch of movies. Out of curiosity, though, I wrote every one down in a notebook. You probably don't care, but I thought it was kind of neat, and some fairly obvious patterns emerged.

If you care to scroll through the list, a couple of explanatory remarks: the film titles with (C) beside them are ones I saw in the cinema.
In some cases (i.e. TV series/some films), I didn't watch the entire thing on that specific day, but the day listed was simply when I completed the series/film ("Baseball" being the obvious one).
Some of the films I had seen before, some I had not. Here goes:

January
3 - Hostel: Part II
4 - Psycho III
Natural Born Killers
5 - Stardust
6 - Angel Heart
Big Trouble in Little China
Shoot 'Em Up
8 - Hannibal Rising
10 - Henry Fool
There Will Be Blood (C)
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
12 - Phantom of the Paradise
13 - No Country For Old Men (C)
14 - Onibaba
A Bell From Hell
17 - The Abominable Dr. Phibes (C)
19 - King of New York
20 - Coal Miner's Daughter
21 - Thunder Road
23 - Saw IV
24 - Ms. 45
True Romance
The Mechanic
25 - Into the Wild (C)
27 - MASH
Control (C)
28 - Blow Out
Night Moves
29 - They All Laughed
31 - Michael Clayton (C)
Rambo (C)

February
1 - Death Sentence
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore
4 - Smokin' Aces
6 - Death Hunt
8 - The Orphanage (C)
11 - Race With the Devil
13 - Midnight Movies: From the Margin to the Mainstream
14 - Diary of the Dead (C)
17 - Out of Sight
Garbage Warrior (C)
19 - Vive le Tour
Kurt Cobain About a Son
28 - Meatballs
29 - Crimes of Passion

March
6 - The Tenant (C)
Sleepaway Camp
9 - The Flying Scotsman
After Hours
12 - Cruising
24 - Persepolis (C)

April
1 - Ken Burns' Baseball
9 - Juno
13 - P2
23 - White Mane
The Red Balloon
26 - Paddle to the Sea
Wolves: A Legend Returns to Yellowstone

May
8 - Zombie (C)
19 - Los Muertos
29 - Iron Man (C)
30 - Monkey Warfare

June
3 - The Late Show
4 - Ils (Them)
8 - Gothic
10 - 3 Women
17 - Deadly Strangers
18 - Honeydripper
24 - Frontiere(s)

July
6 - The Tracey Fragments (C)
22 - Doomsday
23 - The Dark Knight (C)

August
1 - Waterwalker
5 - King of the Hill
18 - Sans Soleil
28 - Woman in the Dunes
Smiley Face

September
5 - V For Vendetta
7 - Cloverfield
9 - The Burrowers (C)
10 - Martyrs (C)
13 - Inju, la bete dans l'ombres (C)
Prince of Darkness
14 - The Host
20 - Forgetting Sarah Marshall
30 - Nightmare Detective

October
2 - Vampires
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer
8 - Inside
14 - The Strangers
17 - The Old Dark House
18 - Halloween
Pumpkinhead
Return of the Living Dead
Demons
22 - The City of the Dead
25 - In the Mouth of Madness
27 - Child's Play
Fright Night
28 - The Oblong Box
31 - Satan's Little Helper
Halloween III: Season of the Witch

November
2 - Hellboy II: The Golden Army
10 - Buffy the Vampire Slayer S1
13 - TransSiberian
18 - Red
20 - Antonio Gaudi
23 - The Last Winter
26 - Scream of Fear
27 - Vanishing Point
29 - Buffy S2

December
5 - Buffy S3
12 - Paranoid Park
14 - Ed Wood
Bell, Book and Candle
Scrooged
16 - Buffy S4
20 - The Unforeseen
22 - Escape From New York
28 - The Wrestler (C)

Roundup:
Films/TV watched: 120
Watched in cinema: 21
2008 releases: 14

New Year's resolutions: watch more current film/go to the cinema more often.

Try to keep your own film diary for 2009. It's fun and informative.