11.09.2010

Like a Vulcan Mind-Meld....

As yet another condition of employment, I require some information from each you to complete an experiment I'm working on. To complete this astonishing act of cosmic insight, I need a number of people to anonymously post their 5 favourite films. From this snippet of personal introspection, I'm suggesting that it's possible to produce an astonishingly detailed portrait of the person associated with that list. Once I've had an opportunity to analyze the choices, I will post the results to your collective amazement. I guarantee the results to be uncanny, possibly even unsettling.

You may choose whatever films you want, the only condition being that they sit (or did at some point reside) up high on your list of personal cinematic favourites. They may also be secret, guilty-pleasures, films you are too embarrassed to admit loving, like The Fountain. With my unnatural ability to tease out deeply-guarded information based solely on simple film preferences, rest assured that I will spot and discount any red herrings you intentionally throw my way.

So, bring me your deepest secrets so that I may expose them to the world. 5 films..... 5 favourite films.... it's so simple.... so telling.... so personal. No attempt will be made to identify the person with their list. You will know who you are once I've stared deep into your soul.

WaaaaaHaHAHAha..... if you dare.

Sporgsterion

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shawshank Redemption
Casablanca
Vertigo
The Shining
Big Lebowski

Anonymous said...

Citizen Kane
Casablanca
The Godfather
Gone With the Wind
Lawrence of Arabia

Anonymous said...

Reservoir Dogs
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Memento
Once Upon A Time In The West
Seven

...the entire series of The Wire

Anonymous said...

High Society
Skins
Everything you wanted to know about sex....

Felicity
Manouche

Anonymous said...

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Wag The Dog
Before Night Falls
The Changeling
The Iron Giant

Anonymous said...

I omit manouche for Kenneth Anger Films - Vol 1

Anonymous said...

Videodrome
The New World
Dead Man
Suspiria
Stalker

La Sporgenza said...

Anonymous said...
Citizen Kane
Casablanca
The Godfather
Gone With the Wind
Lawrence of Arabia

Stuck in the past. Has likely never even seen Kane, but likes to impress others with stunning grasp of the obvious. Likes Wonder Bread, Kraft peanut butter and Smarties. Female, or wishes they were. Lives in a fantasy world most of the time and likes medium-bodied red wines and chicken. Struggles with nuance. Voted Smitherman and wants a new beige Camry, a white picket fence in suburbia and 2.5 children with a husband/wife named Lance/Beverly. Has trouble focusing.

Anonymous said...
Reservoir Dogs
Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
Memento
Once Upon A Time In The West
Seven
...the entire series of The Wire

Angry, young male coursing with testosterone. Masturbates several times a day. Seeks greatness and not afraid to steamroller over others to get it. Broods a lot. Likes tough broads and wears a lot of plaid. Prefers beer and pizza, but can step up his game and run in the yard with the big dogs when necessary. Smart and ruthless, but comes off like everyone's best pal. Would shiv you in a heartbeat if it were to his advantage. Think Tony Soprano by way of Art Garfunkel.

Anonymous said...
High Society
Skins
Everything you wanted to know about sex....
Felicity
Manouche
(omitted Manouche for Kenneth Anger Films - Vol 1 34 minutes later)

Female. Arts degree, 30 or under. Confident, but overreaches at times. Technology skews view of the world. Lots of bravado compensates for a lack of attention to detail. (Manouche is spelled Manoushe, for example). Loves the past, but doesn't want to dwell on or live in it. Has difficulty forming coherent opinions and sticking with them. Sunny disposition hides dark past. Successful and will stay that way through sheer force of will.

Anonymous said...
The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
Wag The Dog
Before Night Falls
The Changeling
The Iron Giant

Jaded, closet bi-sexual. Likes things straight forward, but endlessly complicates own life due to uncertainty about destiny and own sexuality. Rarely finishes anything, preferring to change things up regularly. Drinks to excess at times and needs constant reinforcement to shore up extreme lack of confidence. Party-animal/nihilist. Weeps at night alone in closet. Wants to be a giant, but doesn't believe he has the iron.

Anonymous said...
Videodrome
The New World
Dead Man
Suspiria
Stalker

A study in contrasts. Honest to a fault, but morbidly mistrusting of others. Kind, but brutally savage when you're not looking. Male, spiritual, believes in higher powers. Went to Sunday School and paid attention. Politically left of centre, but secretly voted Ford for mayor. Deeply private. Lost virginity late but is making up for lost time. Was terrible at sports in high school and got beat up a lot. Quietly brilliant but is embarrassed to reveal this to others. Subtle small town sensibilities.

the coelacanth said...

i did NOT vote for ford. rest of it is eerily accurate.

the coelacanth said...

oh yeah, and i "made up" that kane/casablanca/godfather/gwtw/lawrence list - just went to afi and pulled the first five from their top 100, just to see what you'd say.

the coelacanth said...

oh, and to clarify, i don't believe in "higher" powers, so much as "other" powers, if that makes sense...

La Sporgenza said...

a) Sorry about the Ford thing.... that was me as it turns out.

b)Nailed your bogus post, if you noticed.

c) Other/higher, tomato/potato, whatever.

d) you weren't supposed to reveal yourself, though that 'lousy at sports/bullied as child' part was probably a dead giveaway.... and picking the New World. That too.

the coelacanth said...

you might be surprised, but i actually was pretty good at sports. well, some sports, like the non-contact ones and warhammer. little-known fact: i won the boys free-throw competition for all of the hamilton region in grade 8, and i didn't even play on the basketball team. never really cared for team sports. i remember all the jocky basketball team guys staring at me weirdly as i left 'em in the dust. pale, malnourished and painfully shy, i was embarrassed to win, cuz that meant the spotlight was on me. but i just couldn't miss...

Niki Diamonds said...

I WANT TO LIVE IN THE PAAAAAAAAST!

Anonymous said...

Fog of war
Alien
The Warriors
Fargo
Mad Max 2 - The Road Warrior

I know you know who this is, maybe this means I talk too much or have too many opinions or something. I'm sure you're going to tell me. A pre-emptive eff you too! And Sporgsterion, when do we get to hear your top 5?

Anonymous said...

There Will Be Blood
Blazing Saddles
Dark Knight
Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
House (1986)

La Sporgenza said...

Anonymous said...
Fog of war
Alien
The Warriors
Fargo
Mad Max 2 - The Road Warrior

The Warriors, The Road Warrior, Fog of War. Freud would have a field day with this dude. His film selections might as well be called Id, Ego, Superego. The Warriors/Id: A tense, disorganized group of personalities, driven by an instinctual need for survival, bop their way home, seeking to avoid getting the shit kicked out of them along the way. The Road Warrior/Ego: Max acts according to the reality principle, seeking to establish rule and order on chaos, hoping to find realistic ways that will benefit him in the long term. The Fog of War/SuperEgo: A study of Robert McNamara's personality structure, including his ideals, goals, and conscience. An effort to justify and explain his past actions and purge any guilt and remorse.

The easiest by far of these readings as this guys reads like the first chapter of a Psych 101 textbook. Nothing special here, just a regular dude with run-of-the-mill neurosis. An open book.

Anonymous said...
There Will Be Blood
Blazing Saddles
Dark Knight
Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
House (1986)

Closet fascist. Likes order and justice served cold, but not authority. Secretly loves Clint Eastwood and South American Dictators. Likes to dress up. Would excel in the military, but doesn't have any interest in getting shot at. Probably should run his own street or biker gang and would quickly rise to the top of the underworld were it not for his proclivity to broadcast his every movement on social networking platforms. Would last 3 hours as a crime overlord before being arrested based solely on the information contained in his tweets. A one-woman man who has three alternate partners waiting in the wings at all times. Laughs at other people's misfortunes, but whines when the same is aimed back at him. Would make an excellent assassin, except he'd likely post his victim's names on his Facebook wall. Too trusting of Big Brother. Needs to go to ground and disconnect as soon as possible.

Anonymous said...

Le Doulos
If...
Blast of Silence
Band of Outsiders
The Weeping Meadow

the coelacanth said...

^ KRIS. way too easy. what, no fountain?

Anonymous said...

The Fountain
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Evil Dead 2
Ghostbusters
Back to the Future

Anonymous said...

Irreversible
Oldboy
Kids
Eraserhead
Rushmore

the coelacanth said...

all kris?

Anonymous said...

House of Games
Hard Eight
Once Upon a Time in the West
Days of Heaven
Fitzcarraldo

Anonymous said...

Your Lips (2010)
My Tip (2010)
When Can We (2010)
Finalize (2010)
This Deal (2010)

Anonymous said...

Saving Ryan's Privates
There Will be Cum
Gone With the Minge
District 69
Sasha Grey's Anatomy